Tag Archives: Bilbo

Of the Coming of Men into the West

In the Silmarillion, in chapter  17 , we learn more about how Elves first met Men. On a Sunday in January 2015, I first met a blind date from match.com for coffee. We shall call him Mountain Man.

drink

Mountain Man appeared to pass most of my MH/CS,  ( Must Haves and Can’t Stands  for those new to the blog) and was distinctly different than the rest of the emails I received in that he emailed me before I added a picture. I found this refreshing and I was interested in meeting a person of such character. We had common goals of reducing consumption, avoiding Wal-Mart, and saving the Earth. We each had one kid, and he prized a good mother as the most-admirable trait he was looking for.

Although I was 100% honest about each thing I said, I feel like I presented my “idealized self” on this date. I am going to do more research and thinking upon dating stages and when to break in real-world realness like baggage, potential deal-breakers and daily struggles.

Like the Ash Mountains bordering Mordor, there were peaks of problems in our conversation. He brought some realness to the conversation, and the date felt a bit like an interview. He still seems a bit bitter about the ex-wife. The Mount Doom of the conversation was that he was on a mission to find someone with whom he could retire to the mountains with, and live off the grid in a cabin. He was really interesting, and had wonderful stories to relate about camping under the stars 39 nights (not counting the ones in his backyard!) last year. I don’t camp. I don’t even glamp . I’m not opposed to trying it, it’s just that some physical issues I have prevent it from being really viable.

ash mountain

I knew fairly quickly that this was not going to be a love match, but was pleased when he asked me out again. I agreed. We decided that we would meet again a week away, another Sunday date. To be honest, I knew before even the first date that we would not be a love match, but I was eager to practice my dating skills, which had been gathering dust in my spinster closet.

I mean... check out my pick-up line!
I mean… check out my pick-up line!

We texted a bit during the week. He even asked me about a hypothetical weekend get-away. I felt he really liked me, so I was willing to roll with it.

Sunday came and went. No word from him.

stood up

11:45 pm Sunday night he text me, “I’m an ass.”

Yes, Yes you are.
Yes, Yes you are.

There was no way I was responding to him that late at night. I was awake, as I am a night owl, but dude barely knew me! And I shall not be thy booty call, Mountain Man. I responded to him the next day and let him know that I had no hard feelings about it, that I didn’t think I was the mountain trekker of his dreams, but I wished him luck in finding her. He didn’t really take that lying down…. Cue compliments.

listening

We chatted a bit over the next few days, and I thought he got the point. Until I got a friend request on facebook.

friend

I didn’t answer that. Bit weird. Then two days later I got a random, middle of the night text from him, “What is your Birth Date?”

date

On to the next. I can’t let the muggles get me down.

outta here

 

‘A darkness lies behind us,’ Bëor said; ‘and we have turned our backs upon it, and we do not desire to return thither even in thought. Westwards our hearts have been turned, and we believe that there we shall find Light.’- Chapter 17, The Silmarillion

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An Unexpected Party

Much like Bilbo, I enjoy my solitary time at home. Also like Bilbo, my inner-most Took is pulling me into the world and into change. My world has been changing and I decided to change with it. My child is in middle school, and gets picked up at 7 am each day, to not return until sometimes as late as 7 pm. I had a frightful vision of myself as “only” a mother, no life of my own, facing emptiness when college comes. I have 7 years until that time comes, but I am so independent, it may take a man 7 years to get me to even consider moving in with him!

Earlier this month, I was watching random Ted Talks. I’m a huge fan of these short, informative speeches, and have learned about everything from hand washing to intimacy. On this particular day, I watched Amy Webb talk about hacking online dating. I was so surprised. Her story was my own! I have been turned off by online dating because I am so picky. I didn’t believe that a website could help me find the nerd of my dreams. Anytime I have glanced through free dating sites, or through profiles shown on my friend’s pages, I’ve been appalled at all the spelling and grammar, shirtless (and toothless) pictures, and general lack of class. She has convinced me, however, it IS possible to make dating websites work FOR you, if you know how to work them.

Unexpectedly, Amy has inspired me to do my homework and get registered. In my post-divorce years I have been active in my church’s singles group. I have done tons of personality profiles and studies, and have read lots of books about dating and how to find your soul mate. The thing the books can’t do is actually find that guy or girl for you. What I have to do now is gather those years worth of information and convert it to data useful on the dating service I choose.